My husband and I moved from the city to the settlement two years ago.
Of course, we were getting ready for the moving and therefore studied the peculiarities of rural life. We read the forums, went to festivals, visited the settlement, and of course, earned money. We had a lot of questions: “How to earn a living?”, “What kind of house to build?”, “Where to teach children?”, “How to build a life in a new place?”… Or how to install a washing machine in a house without running water and make fast internet in homestead… But no one talked about how important are family relationships for the creation of a family homestead.
We clearly divided life HERE in the city and life THERE in the settlement, in our own family homestead.
We thought that after moving on land, we will meet the dawn every day, to walk on the grass, listen to the birds singing… We naively thought that after moving to the settlement, we automatically get into heaven. It turned out that to create own paradise — that is exactly what we have to deal with. And this is a serious work, first and foremost, work on oneself.
In the first year of our life in the settlement, we realized that we weren’t family before… family in the full sense of the word. Yes, we lived together, spent weekends together and went to the dacha, had dinner and sometimes (if work schedule allowed) breakfast together, watched the movies, but we didn’t know each other for real. By and large, we were not together in the same space for a long time. Because life in the city didn’t give us the opportunity to open up and most importantly, not giving us such trials, as life in the settlement did. Here man and woman are engaged in totally different affairs. Man can efficiently and enthusiastically do his job only when his beloved woman trusts him. And it is very difficult, because from childhood I was told: “You have to be independent. You don’t have to depend on a man” etc. In modern society a woman and a man are brought up in the same way, and I see this as a big mistake.
After moving to the settlement, we remained alone for the first time. And we had to show what we really are, because life in the settlement does not accept the city masks, and I’m immensely grateful for that.
There were certain difficulties related to the fact that we have changed the way of life, place of residence, resigned city’s usual work, even gave birth to our first baby, and it all happened at the same time, during six months. It is through those difficulties we realized that we are not perfect; we have no understanding of many key issues in life. We realized that the reason lies in the different education, the reason is in our families where we grew up, the reason is in our childhood. And most importantly, we realized that we need to learn to accept each other. And each of us decided to be better. Thus we discovered the path to endless and an interesting process — the path to self-development and self-improvement. I’m happy because I reach it now when I’m 25 and my baby is only one year old.
When we lived in the city, worked 10-12 hours a day, we didn’t have time for deep “digging” into past or the restoration of family traditions. Family and children … most important thing in life.
Only now, when during the long hours of conversations, talked and resolved the issues of responsibility, trust, education, and therefore basic questions of family relationships, I really started to enjoy the sun, water, spring… I want to chat, to sing, to invent, to share, to walk barefoot, to dance, listen to the birds. I’m full of energy and strength! I realized what I’m living for. I know what I want, I believe in a bright future. Now our life looks similar to the one we were dreaming of, while living in the city. We came to this after a year and a half, after a serious work on oneself, but consciously. Now I can say that we became a family. We passed this test that gave us life. Thank you, Lesnaya Polyana (Family Homestead Settlement, Mari El Republic), we are happy to live here.
And very nice to understand that this great path of self-development just started, and so many interesting things waiting ahead for me!
I wish you all the happiness, more free time and opportunities to reflect.